Rocketship Weird Retro Captain's Blog - Weird Retro

Toys: BootLeg Freddy Krueger

15/3/2015

Celebrate the awesomeness that is the Chinese bootleg Freddy Krueger, or to give him is correct name "Nightmare Feddy". Unlike most bootleg toys, which inadvertently look like Freddy, this one actually looks like he is supposed to. There has actually been some care and attention gone into his design. Okay his clothes are a bit big for him, you can forgive that. And his glove could slash the guts out of a fly. But to hell with that, they even went to the effort of giving him badly burned arms, that can't even be seen when he's wearing his over-sized sweater. The makers even went to the effort a packaging this 12" horror in a nifty box. No shoddy artwork here, some artistic talent has been employed. Okay, so his sweater is a different colour, and it's short sleeved, to show off those scarred arms. And yeah, the glove on the box is ridiculously huge, and nothing like either Freddy's glove from the movies or that of the figure. But if you look beyond those minor things. This still would sit proudly on any collectors shelf. So put your hands in the air, grin your most gruesome smile, and give a cheer for Nightmare Feddy! (Suitable for age 4 and up.)

Toy Of The Month: The Official Star Trek Helmet, Or "SPock's Helmet" (1976)

14/3/2015

Trekkie or not, surely there was no kid on the planet or in the federation that would have been seen dead wearing this monstrosity. Produced in 1976, by the Azrak-Hamway Incorporated (AHI). The company acquired the Remco toy company in 1974, after Remco filed for bankruptcy in 1971. As part of the acquisition AHI got the licensing rights to Star Trek. So in the 1970s they churned out a number of Star Trek tie-in toys. Some better than others, and some closer to replicas of items found on the TV series than others. The one item they brought out that bore no relation to Star Trek, was the "Official Star Trek Helmet", that has since become known as the Spock Helmet. Even though the company produced them with decals, so that kids could customise them with whichever character they wished.

The "Space Fun Helmet" was simply an insane piece of weird design. If they'd have left it at a helmet with a visor, then it would have likely disappeared into bland toy history. But the addition of the two antennas and what essentially was an emergency services flashing light on-top. That was referred to as a, “flashing light emitter with pulsing sonic sound.”

In addition to the helmet, AHI produced a Star Trek utility belt, that allowed for the carrying of the enclosed equipment, a phaser, a communicator and a tricorder. In 1975 they also produced a phaser, the earliest electronic phaser toys. The gun isn’t what you’d call an exacting replica of the screen-used props, with its bulky size and the Gold Key-inspired“Star Trek” logo emblazoned on its side, but what the Phaser Gun loses in accuracy it makes up for in fun. The phaser emits a "Realistic Phaser Sound" and a light shines from the front when the trigger is pressed.

While many of the AHI and Remco products released in the 60’s and 70’s are sometimes criticized for their cheap quality and wild inaccuracies, they still hold an important place in the history of Star Trek toys. As some of the earliest tie-in items from the franchise, they really are the stepping stones on Star Trek’s journey to becoming one of the most-heavily licensed properties in television history.

The Official Star Trek Helmet, has even gained infamy in its very own meme, referred to as "Spock's Helmet". Which involved photoshopping the helmet onto old pictures of Spock from the TV show and movies. Even Spock from the new Star Trek reboot franchise.

Never Released Pammy Barbie Wire Doll

9/3/2015

Released in 1996, Barb Wire was a sci-fi action flick based on the Dark Horse Comic Book series of the same name, starring Pamela Anderson. The movie bombed, as did any of the potential merchandising that the producers had lined-up to be released as a tie-in to the movie.

In a bizarre confluence the Dark Horse Entertainment and movie distributors Gramercy Pictures struck a deal with the toy giants Mattel, to produce a Pammy doll to merchandise alongside the release of the movie. The "Barbie-Wire" doll never made it onto the shelves of Toys R US, but avid collectors are still searching out prototype versions of the doll that are believed to exist on dusty shelves somewhere in the bowels of Mattel.

Weird Retro Fact: Read about the equally bizarre Japanese Chuck Norris Action Sex Doll.

Toys: Terrible Titanic THemed Toys

24/2/2015

Working on a piece about bad rip-off toys (usually from China), I came across these Titanic themed toys. Now back in the 1980s, hand held LCD games were all the rage. But this beauty came out to cash-in on the success of the Titanic movie in 1997. The idea of the game was to avoid the icebergs, by pressing left or right. Surely the point of the game would have been better if you had to steer the ship into the nearest iceberg, and end it all as quickly as possible.

But no, you had to gain enough points so that "the lovers" can have dinner together, and continue to dodge the icebergs so that they can go "dancing on the deck". Assuming after that, you aim the the Titanic head-long into an iceberg, at which point it transforms into a giant robot and flies away. Thus saving the passengers from a fate worse than becoming a bad rip-off toys.

Just when you thought they couldn't make anything else into a Transformer... We present Titanic-Bot. He floats in your bath, he avoids icebergs, he turns into a giant robot, with lethal looking hooked hands. It begs the question though...

When Titanic-Bot transforms, what happens to all the passengers? Do they fall down the full length of the ship, down the now vertical corridors? Do "the lovers" dancing on deck, simply fall off into the freezing ocean below? Now if Cameron had thrown the giant transforming robot into his terribly trite movie, it would have made it a spectacle worth watching. I'm off to suggest it to him for, Titanic 2: The Titanic Rises. Where the Titanic-Bot returns from the bottom of the ocean, to take revenge on his builders, who claimed he was unsinkable.

Toys: Bootleg Star Wars "Force Beam".

19/2/2015

The British advert for the Force Beam.

After the first Star Wars film came out in 1977, myself and every other kid I knew played Star Wars in the school playground. Squabbling over who was Luke or Han, not wanting to be Chewie or Lea. At the time, Star Wars merchandise was thin on the ground. Figures were hard to get your hands on, due to high demand, and we were ravenous for any Star Wars toys. So some bright-spark hit on the idea of bootlegging a lightsaber, marketing it as a "force beam". And as soon as I heard, I had to have one.

Essentially it was a torch with a green filter in it, that was attached to a long plastic tube. It was cheap, it was nasty, but I loved it. Along with the judo suit I convinced my parents to buy me. I told them I want to go to judo classes, which was a total lie. It was just that a judo suit was the nearest thing to Luke's costume I could think of. So on my eighth birthday, that's what I got. A judo suit, and a crappy "force beam".

Erm... My first and only foray into cosplay back in the 1970s.

Dismembered Body Parts & Babies In Microwaves. Bizarre Japanese Toys!

18/2/2015

If like me, one are one of these people who likes to dig around the weirder side of the Weird Wide Web, then you couldn't have failed to some point to have come across pictures of dismembered body parts toys from Japan. Or the bright graphic of the baby bursting out of the microwave, its guts spilling out. You may have just shrugged, laughed and shook your head, mumbling, "Oh, those Japanese!" But have you bothered to find out what they are all about? Anyone who knows about Japanese pop-culture will be aware of their love of extreme violence through manga, anime and J-Horror cinema.

These particular toys are by the ero-guro (エログロ) and manga artist Shintaro Kago. Ero-guro is an artistic movement in Japan that depicts the decadence of society through images of extreme sexual violence, eroticism and sexual corruption. Deviant and grotesque to a ridiculous degree, the movement which has a long history in Japan, has influenced many areas of Japanese pop-culture.

Shintaro Kago, made his début in 1988, has become a very popular artist. His grotesque works, push many boundaries, both in style and imagery. Taking things to such extremes that they appear comedic, yet unnerving, satirising aspects of Japanese culture. His range of toys, which are available by mail order, and through vending machines in Japan, play with the idea of collectable toys for adults. Mirroring other mass-produced collectables, and are available as key-chains, phone charms and vinyl book shelf display pieces.

Weird Retro's Random Robots Season

10/2/2015

Surely everyone loves a robot?! Whether it be Wall-E or D.A.R.Y.L, 3PO or R2D2, we all have our favourites. Maybe it's the original Robocop! (Let's not mention the remake.) I bet for many it's those three cuties Huey, Dewey, and Louie from Silent Running. Whatever of whoever they are, like I say, everyone loves a robot. Especially Rocketship Weird Retro's co-pilot Xav. He's going through a big robot phase at the moment. Various robot based movies are on constant repeat on our TV. We've played the Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots we got off eBay to death, since it arrived 2 days ago. We built a robot out of toilet rolls, yoghurt pots and other boxes. It's robot central on the rocketship at the moment. So feeding off the obsessions of our 3 year old co-pilot, Weird Retro will be running a robot themed season during the month. And to get things kicked off, I've posted some links to robot related posts we've run so far.

Those Toys You Wanted, And The Ones You Got!!! - Childhood dreams shattered by poor parental purchases.

From The Archives: God Jesus Robot (1985) - A battery operated romantic fortune-telling robot produced by Bandai. Think a Magic 8-Ball with hearts and flowers.

Toys: Guile & Ryu Street Fighter II Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots (1993) - Capcom licensed a lot of products for the Street Fighter series of arcade and console games. This is by far the best.

Love It Or hate It? Heartbeeps (1981) - A bizarre Andy Kaufman romantic robot comedy. Well known for Kaufman offering to refund anyone that had seen it, it was considered so bad.

Xav, Weird Retro's co-pilot, loves his new robot friend.

Toys: I Vant To Bite Your Finger (1979)

10/2/2015

The vampire game, in which players had to stick their finger into Dracula's mouth (never a good idea kids!) And would get bitten by the lord of darkness. Well I say "bitten", I mean you'd get a fang mark stamp on the back of your finger. Not unlike waking-up after a night out, and finding you went to "that nightclub", as you have a smudged stamp on the back of your hand.

I Vant To Bite Your Finger, was first released in 1979, by both Ideal and Hasbro. Players made their way around a small board, attached to a plastic standee of Dracula. They landed on a number, and turned the clock the required number of turns. Which could potentially unleash the vampire from his slumber. Dracula's cape would spring open, and the victim would have to submit to the hypnotic will of the creepy Count. Another great fun horror themed game for all the family.

The Horror Of Milton Bradley Board Games - We had a lot of Milton Bradley board games in our home as kids. It's only recently I realised how many of them were horror or fantasy related.

On Every Goth's Wish List: Vampire Killing Kits - Fake or not, vampire killing kits are a popular cultural phenomena that has spread across the Internet, selling for thousands.

Top Five Saturday Morning Kids TV Shows Featuring Classic Horror Monsters - Vintage Saturday morning shows featuring an ensemble cast of classic horror and B-movie characters.

Toy Of The Month: Monster Lab (1964)

7/2/2015

Considered by toy collectors as the "holy grail" of monster related games, Monster Lab is a two players game produced by Ideal in 1964. The idea of the game was that players would twist the dial on the "monster control panel" at each end of the lab, in a attempt to keep "the monster" away from their end of the lab. The monster moves up and down the lab, until it reaches one end, when it raises its arms, lets out a growl and his mask falls off, revealing his hideous face beneath. Sounds and looks really cool. However apparently the game play really sucked, and the game was one more of chance than of skill.

Kids quickly got bored of playing the game, and Ideal soon ceased production. Hence why the game is so rare to find, and so collectible. So collectible in fact that mint condition versions of the game have sold for thousands of dollars at auction. The game sold originally for $16, and made its first appearance on the Magilla Gorilla TV show in 1964. It was also featured in the December issue of Popular Mechanics that year.

Toys: Hugo, Man Of A Thousand Faces

31/1/2015

Hugo was a creepy puppet toy aimed at boys, produced by the toy makers Kenner in 1975. Huge who looked exactly like Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies, was a master of disguise. He came with a variety of interchangeable facial features that you could glue onto his face, such as noses, scars, false chin, a wig, glasses, side-burns (it was the 70s after all) and an eye-patch. The only problem with Hugo was running out of the little tubes of non-toxic glue that came with him, and resorting to whatever glue your dad had lying around his tool shed. Hugo probably wasn't too please however to have his beard ripped off him after it had been glued on with epoxy-resin.

No matter how you tried to change Hugo's appearance those piercing dead blue eyes would be staring back at you. With his disguises, you could make Hugo look like anything from an evil genius, to a history teacher or a 70s porn star. Whatever your twisted little imagination could come up with, in the multiple combinations available.

Whether you could actually change Hugo into a thousand different faces is a bone of contention. I'm sure there is someone out there that has counted. Hugo is now a highly collectable kitsch vintage toy. He had a brief dabble with fame, when he was regularly featured as part of The Pee-Wee Herman Show. For me personally, I was always a Mr. Potato Head kid.