Rocketship Weird Retro Captain's Blog

Cult Cinema Sunday: Santa Sangre (1989)

30/8/2015

After the failure to get his Dune project to the screen, and the minor blip that was Tusk in 1980, Alexandro Jodorowsky brought us Santa Sangre in 1989. Back to the form that viewers witnessed in the surreal classics El Topo (1970) and Holy Mountain (1973), the film has become a cult classic of surreal avant-garde horror cinema.

Santa Sangre (Holy Blood) was an Italian-Mexican production, co-written (other writers being Claudio Argento and Roberto Leoni) and directed by Jodorowsky. A film that is crammed full of allegorical imagery, it's a wild ride through the mind of a young man trapped in a mental hospital. As we travel through flash-backs and flash-forwards, into a world of bizarre circus, and a fanatical religious cult known as Santa Sangre.

Along with his earlier works, the film is considered to be one of Jodorowsky's greatest works. A trippy hallucinatory nightmare through the mind of one of the greatest cult film directors of all time. A true piece of psychological horror, that mixes uncomfortable images, with dark humour, violence and sexuality.

The tag-line to Santa Sangre was "Forget Everything You Have Seen". And in many ways that line still holds true. As the film stands-up to this day, as a surreal masterpiece, unrivalled by films that have attempted to follow in its footsteps. It's such a shame that Jodorowsky never got to make his version of Dune. Which could well be one of the greatest movies never made. Despite the fact that much of the ideas and images from it have found there way into many sci-fi and horror films since.

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Banned Crazy Mormon cartoon

23/8/2015

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Most of us have had the misfortune to have the missionaries from the Mormon church turn up on our doorstep. Selling their particular brand of pseudo-Christian cultism. Figures of ridicule wherever they go, see in this banned animation how truly fruit-loop, racist and dangerous they really are. Apparently this animation was made by an ex-Mormon, for the 1982 documentary exposing the truth behind the church, called The God Makers.

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Cult Cinema Saturday: Basket Case (1982)

22/8/2015

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Basket Case is a 1982 American horror comedy film written and directed by cult film-maker Frank Henenlotter. Henenlotter, who also made 2 sequels to Basket Case as well as the cult classics Brain Damage (1988) and Frankenhooker (1990), is quoted as saying, "I never felt that I made ‘horror films’", he has said. "I always felt that I made exploitation films. Exploitation films have an attitude more than anything – an attitude that you don’t find with mainstream Hollywood productions. They’re a little ruder, a little raunchier, they deal with material people don’t usually touch on, whether it’s sex or drugs or rock and roll."

Basket Case is a classic piece of 80s schlock cinema, about Duane who arrives in New York City carrying a basket with him wherever he goes. The basket contains his deformed twin, who he was surgically separated from. Duane's twin Belial, wants to seek revenge on the surgeon who split them at an early age, against their will. Belial goes on an unstoppable murderous rampage, until Duane tries to stop his evil twin, for the murder and attempted rape of a nurse he befriends.

Basket Case was Henenlotter's first feature film, and was shot on grainy 16mm, for a budget of only $35,000. Creating a dark and disturbing atmosphere, that recreates the seedy side of 80s New York around Times Square and 42nd Street. The film became an instant cult classic, and spent a number of years on the midnight movie circuit. It didn't make the Video Nasty list on the UK, but was singled out among others as a film that many video stores refused to stock.

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Vintage Vibrator: Dr. Macaura’s Pulsocon Blood Circulator

18/8/2015

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Originally called Dr. Macaura's Pulsocon and later renamed Dr. Macaura's Blood Circulator, this early hand crank driven vibrator was produced some time around the late 1800s, and remained in production well into the 1920s.

The device was held in one hand, pushed against the desired body part, and hand-cranked to caused the invigorating vibration required. Apparently the action that Dr. Macaura's invention created was a plunging motion, on the desired body part.

The plunging motion could be eventuated with the addition of applicators, that would screw into the end of the device for more focused sensations. Apparently turning the handle produced a surprisingly intense vibration over the affected area. It came with a full complement of paperwork (16 and 58 page booklets and a pamphlet). What more could a lady need from a blood circulation stimulating device. One assumes, despite the photo on the right, that a lady could self stimulate most required areas of her body herself, in the privacy of her own boudoir.

You're doing it wrong!

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Toy Of The MOnth: Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow (1977)

17/8/2015

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You really have to wonder what they were thinking with Milky. Especially with Kenner, it's maker, pitching it as a pre-school toy for ages as young as 3. Why? Because Milky produced "milk", that the kids couldn't drink, under any conditions. Instead of Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow, she should have been called Milky The Child Poisoning Cow. To compound things Milky was made as a promotional tie-in with General Foods, to promote breakfast cereals.

The advertising blurb with Milky read: "Milky, The Marvelous Milking Cow. Milky drinks from trough, gives pretend milk. HOW IT WORKS: Fill see-through trough with water, place "milk" tablets in udder. Push Milky's head in trough, pump her tail, she drinks. When she's has enough, she raises her head and "moos". Then she's ready to be milked through her rubber udders. Comes with bucket, cow bell, vinyl pasture pad, non-toxic [still don't drink the milk!!!] tablets and booklet the tells the story of how milk gets from the cow to the home."

The true bizarre wonders of Milky can best be experienced by watching the TV commercial for her. Forget the dodgy milk that you had to warn kids not to drink! You were also teaching them that it is okay to ram an animals head into its feed bucket and force feed it, grab her tail and pull on it, until it wails out "STOP!!! No more!" Or "moos" in cow language. Milky the "Let's Pretend" toy of fun animal abuse for all the family. There's no wonder it has since become a cult toy.

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Destination Moon Comic Book

15/8/2015

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In 1950 the genius independently filmed movie Destination Moon was released. It stood as the trail blazing sci-fi movie that genuinely tried to examine the dangers of man attempting to fly to the moon and return safely back to Earth. The movie was produced by the combined genius of producer George Pal and the prolific actor/director Irving Pichel. It was co-written by Robert A. Heinlein, based on his novel Rocket Ship Galileo.

To coincide with the movie a comic book was produced to tell the story, but also inject scientific facts about travel to the moon into the story. In addition Pal included the famous cartoon character Woody Woodpecker, as he was a friend of Woody creator Walter Lantz. Woody featured in a cartoon that was shown as a short alongside Destination Moon, as well as being cleverly inserted into the the movie itself. The itself comic book stands out as a classic and early movie tie-in.

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Kids TV: Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos

13/8/2015

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Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos was an animated television series that was first aired in 1986 as a five episode (30 minute each) one season, mini-series. It was created by and starred Chuck Norris as himself, and produced by Ruby-Spears Productions. (They of Fangface and Rubik The Amazing Cube.)

Chuck's animated self seemed to spend a lot of time in what can only be described as classic 80s, homoerotic attire. (Check out that lovely side knotted scarf.) With tight white vests, or simply topless in tight pants. Being produced by Norris himself, I'm sure he missed the obvious in retrospect campness of the whole animated adventure that he entered into.

The rest of his crew, the "Karate Kommandos", would fight alongside Chuck against the evils of VULTURE, and their leader Claw. The Kommandos included brother and sister Reed and Pepper, Kimo a Samurai warrior, Tabe a sumo wrestler, and "Too Much" who was Chuck Norris's ward. (A bit of Batman and Robin about that.) In the opening credits, Chuck's name is mentioned 9 times, with actual footage of Chuck book-ending each episode. Ending with a moral lesson delivered by the great man himself.

Good old Chuck is the butt of many a joke on the Internet, and has been mentioned a few times on Weird Retro. From the 1983 video game Chuck Norris Superkicks, and his Kickin' Action Jeans. But the most popula Chuck Norris related Captain's blog posts have been the infamous Japanese Chuck Norris Action Sex Doll, from back in November 2014. And its sequel, the Chuck Norris Transgendered Action Sex Doll, from the beginning of April 2015.

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Board Games: After The Holocaust (1977)

11/8/2015

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Released in 1977, during the Cold War, After The Holocaust is a strategy board game for 3-4 players. The game is set, some 20 years after a nuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union. The players control regions of the nuke ravaged United States and Canada, as they play out a economic, military and political simulation in ten turns.

Each turn of the game consists of five rounds, which are; a production round; a trade round; a consumption round; a military/political round; and a finance round. The rounds contain distinct phases within them. Like the production round, contains a basic production phase, a second production phase and a mobilization phase... Bored yet? Yep, After The Holocaust is one of those games that is so long and involved, that you get it out, set it up. And decided it's better to go down the pub, than spend the 6 hours playing time on this thing.

But there are those that have bothered, and even gone further. With the Weird Wide Web full of forums dedicated to the game. People have designed economic strategies, flow-charts of play, expansions, and play variants. But that's not the strangest part of the game. Hidden with the complex rules, and explanations, is that despite the devastation of the country, and people being taken back to the Dark Ages. The Federal Reverse Bank still exists and is still a functioning entity. So it's not the ants or the cockroaches that'll survive Armageddon, it's the American dollar!

Mad Max, the bankers edition!

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The Cross & The Switchblade (1972)

9/8/2015

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The Cross and the Switchblade was originally a book written in 1962 by pastor David Wilkerson with John and Elizabeth Sherrill. It quickly became a best seller, with over 16 million copies being sold around teh world, with it being translated into 16 languages. The book told the true story of Wilkerson's first five years living and working as an evangelical pastor in New York City. He focused his work on reaching disillusioned young people on the streets, attempting to encourage them to turn away from the drugs and gang violence. In 1970, the book was adapted into a movie, that starred the goody-goody singer Pat Boone as Wilkerson and Erik Estrada (in his screen debut) as Nicky Cruz, the teen gang member whose life was transformed by Wilkerson's ministry. Then in 1972, the Christian comic book publishers Spire Christian Comics under the leadership of Al Hartley, adapted the story as one of their many Christian comic book propaganda pieces produced during the 70s.

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Cult Film Friday: Zeta One (1969)

7/8/2015

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Strange British sci-fi sex comedy, that featured a whole host a renowned comedy actors of the period, and plenty of semi-nudity. A cult classic of British sexploitation, it tells the story of a race of topless, large-breasted women from the planet Angvia (and anagram of vagina), in another dimension, come to earth to kidnap women to repopulate their planet. All lead by an interdimensional sex goddess called Zeta.

The film is low-budget exploitation film-making at its so-bad-its-good best. A cut-rate Carry On type caper, with a blatant James Bond rip-off theme. (With a super-spy character called James Word.) The plot drags, and the one-shot director Michael Cort uses plenty of padding and scenes that seem utterly out of place. It's bright, gaudy and silly. And must have been an influence on Mike Myers when he was creating Austin Powers. The colours are in-your-face trippy 60s, spliced with a Mod aesthetic. Making it a great example of British psychedelic cinema.

The film was a flop on its initial release. Zeta One was released in the United Kingdom in 1970, being described by one critic as, "quite preposterous in illogicality and silliness". It was later released in America by Film Ventures International, briefly in 1973 as The Love Slaves and then wider in 1974 under the title The Love Factor. Despite its failure on initial release, Zeta One has gained a cult following in the subsequent decades.

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<<Previous

Cult Cinema Sunday: Santa Sangre (1989)

Banned Crazy Mormon cartoon

Cult Cinema Saturday: Basket Case (1982)

Vintage Vibrator: Dr. Macaura’s Pulsocon Blood Circulator

Toy Of The MOnth: Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow (1977)

Destination Moon Comic Book

Kids TV: Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos

Board Games: After The Holocaust (1977)

The Cross & The Switchblade (1972)

Cult Film Friday: Zeta One (1969)

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