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Mid-Week Movie Massacre: Death By Literally Blowing-Up!

8/4/2015

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So last week's Mid-Week Movie Massacre featured comedy exploding head death scenes, inspired by the previous week's post about the Hong Kong cult film Riki-Oh from 1991. Off the back of that, we bring it all together with movie comedy deaths by quite literally blowing-up! My top three favourite over-inflated death scenes from cult films. A form of comedy death that's not used more than enough in my humble opinion. As the idea of someone blowing-up like a balloon is just too funny.
#1 Big Trouble In Little China (1986): The way of the exploding fist!
The scene towards the end of the movie where Thunder feels dishonoured, and so obviously chooses the only honourable way out, by self inflating until he explodes. Often listed as one of the most ridiculous death scenes in cinema, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. And looks hysterical. The only down-side, it being a kids movie and all, that they cut-away before you actually see him explode. But still, a brilliantly funny death scene.
#2 Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life (1983): Mr. Creosote.
Okay, so Mr. Creosote doesn't actually die in the famous sketch, from the much under-rated Monty Python movie. But there is no way back for him, seeing how the whole of his internal organs are spread across the restaurant. Showering the other patrons. Plus, this has to be one of the most famous exploding body scenes in movie history. How many times after eating too much have you quoted it, "No. Fuck off - I'm full..."? No?! Just me then!
#3 Max Headroom: 20 Minutes into the Future (1983): Blipverts.
I've always loved the original British TV movie version of Max Headroom. Which was later remade into a British/American sci-fi TV series. The blipvert scene, showing a poor unfortunate being subjected to intense subliminal advertising, resulting in him exploding is one of the most memorable parts of the original movie. And I think probably the very first exploding body death scene I ever saw.
Honorary mention - Riki-Oh: The Story Of Ricky (1991): Because why not?
Bringing it full circle, back to the original post that inspired the spate of exploding death scenes, with Riki-Oh. The movie is full of over-the-top death scenes. And the scene where Assistant Warden Dan is shot by the Warden with a gas-pressure bullet (who knew such things existed), is just one of the truly imaginative ways the makers of this cult classic came up with to kill people. I really must go back and re-watch this movie some time soon.
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Retro Gaming: Captain Bible in Dome of Darkness (1994)

5/4/2015

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If you scanned the shelves of most video game stores, you wouldn't think that video gaming and Christianity were two things that go together. Most games are filled with all manner of unholy horrors, with their themes of death and destruction, just look at the Sodom and Gomorrah that is the Grand Theft Auto series of games for example.

However there have been a few small game makers that have dipped into scripture and released righteous video games for kids. One such example is Captain Bible in Dome Of Darkness, produced by Bridgestone Multimedia Group in 1994, for PC platforms.
Just what ever child wants, to play a superhero that defeats evil right? Whether driven by the "good book" or not, kids will still want to play it right? Wrong! As Captain Bible is simply dumb, and that's got nothing to do with its theme. Really it says it all at the top of the box, "Educational Adventure", two words that should never grace the from of a video game box. As it's the kiss of death for any piece of software.
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But back in the 90s, software manufacturers were still exploring new markets, and the "edutainment" industry was still in its infancy. Just the word "edutainment" makes me shiver, as I recall the dozens and dozens of dodgy titles that passed through the computer store I worked in at the time. Fortunately, or unfortunately for its kitsch value alone, Captain Bible never passed though our way.
The game is set in a city which was one day encased in a Dome of Darkness, by evil robots. Captain Bible works for Bible Corps., and is sent on a mission into the city but cannot take his electronic Bible with him. So Bible Corps. must beam scripture to him, and he must collect the verses from points around the city. Using the verses to battle the deceitful robots, and ultimately save the city and the people. Yay! Go Captain Bible! Yawn!
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Cult Film "Good" Friday: Critters 2: The Main Course (1988)

3/4/2015

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The sequel to the 1986 sci-fi comedy horror Critters, this one has the eggs of the ravenous little aliens being mistaken for Easter eggs. The first feature film of director Mick Garris, and featured his wife Cynthia Garris. Who also wrote and performed the soundtrack. The small town of Grover’s Bend is celebrating their Easter Festival, when the Critters hatch and start eating everything in sight. Just as much campy silliness in Critters 2 as the first one, not taking itself seriously, and making for fun horror ride. 

Detractors of the Critters movies may say its a b-movie derivative of Gremlins. But the omnivorous little crites are campy comedy gold in their own right. But at the same time deliver enough gore to satisfy and blood thirsty horror fan. And some memorable moments. When the sheriff gets killed, ushering in the return of the Critters, it's a stand-out moment. The Critters getting inside his Easter Bunny suit and start eating him, sending him crashing through the church window during the service. It's one the moments when the movie really gets the balance right.
There's the tongue-in-cheek scene when Lee the faceless bounty hunter from space looks at a Playboy magazine and transforms into the Playboy model and b-movie scream queen Roxanne Kernohan.

The special effects and creatures are exactly what you'd expect from the Chiodo Brothers, who worked on the original, and are probably best known for writing, producing and directing cult comedy sci-fi horror Killer Klowns From Outer Space in 1988. 
Critters 2 is as schlocky as you'd expect it to be. In an all out "you know what you're getting, so don't complain about it" dose of cinema. Delivering a great big chuck of 80s horror nonsense, and it's all the better for it. It lulls in places, and the kill count could be higher. But the giant ball of rolling Critters at the end of the movie, makes the dull moments worth suffering. Right, off to check that the Easter eggs in my cupboard aren't really alien eggs.  
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Mid-Week Movie Massacre: Death By Exploding Head.

1/4/2015

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In last weeks Mid-Week Movie Massacre, I looked at the over-the-top violence Hong Kong movie, Riki-Oh from 1991. The movie featured (which the post had an animated gif of), a hysterical death scene, where a guy gets his head crushed like a melon. That got me thinking, and so here I present my three favourite comedy exploding head death scenes. 

#1 Chopping Mall (1986): Death by killbot.

A brilliantly awful sci-fi/horror from the Corman stables, is typical 80s stuff. Full of horny teenagers who you know are going to die in hopefully gruesome ways. The girl that first buys it in Chopping Mall, is chased through the mall by one of the renegade killbots. As the semi-clad teen tries pathetically to run (slowly) away, the killbot shots her in the arse. Which still makes me laugh. Unable to run, she turns and faces her pursuer, only to be shot in the head! And BLAM!!!
#2 Deadly Friend (1986): Death by basketball.
1986, must have been a good year for exploding heads, as in Wes Carven's bizarre sci-fi horror we have another one. The scene when the cyborg Samantha takes revenge on the nasty neighbour Elvira, by slamming a basketball at her head. In what is one of the most laughable exploding head scenes ever. In what has become a cult classic film for it's awfulness. A film that was so hacked and slashed that even Craven himself has said he's not even sure what kind of movie it is.
#3 Stitches (2012): Pumped-up like a clown's balloon.
Jumping forward to the much more recent Irish horror comedy, Stitches. As the revengeful birthday clown that has returned from the dead catches up with one of his intended victims. Sticking his balloon pump in the back of his head, and blowing his head up until it eventually bursts. Played for laughs, this scene from the movie that is a homage to 80s slasher flicks, is just brilliant. As with many of the 80s films it is paying respect to, the film is just so-so, but makes it up with a great death scene like this one.
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Wizards? War Wizards? Star Wars? Or Conclusive Scientific Evidence That George Lucas Is A Twat!

31/3/2015

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The 1977 animation Wizards and that kiddies sci-fi horse opera in space, Star Wars have quite a lot on common. Not only where they both released in 1977, by 20th Century Fox. But Mark Hamill was in both movies. Playing the voice of Sean, king of the mountain fairies, in Wizards. And some bloke called Luke something in Star Wars. Both Ralph Bakshi, the genius behind Wizards, and George Loosearse were in the same meeting with 20th Century Fox, asking for money. Neither of them got any. Bakshi finished the movie with his own money. Not sure what Loosearse did with his little film. Apart from that he spat his dummy out because Bakshi was originally going to call Wizards, "War Wizards". But Loosearse wanted to call his little flick Star Wars, and he felt the names were too similar. The words "Wizards" and "Stars" both sounding like they're both sort of magic like.
After Bakshi explained to little George, that actually "War" and "Wars" were even more similar, Bakshi decided to just call his movie Wizards. And because he couldn't stand by and let George hold his breath until he got his own way, and eventually went blue in the face a fainted. To add insult to injury though, it would turn out that little Georgie Porgie would not rip-off everything he'd seen as a child to make Star thingy-what's-it, and its sequels. It would seem it had a thing deep down about Wizards after all.

Not only did he directly rip-off The Wizard Of Oz. Tin-Man / C3PO, Wicked Witch of the West / Darth Vader, Cowardly Lion / Chewbacca , yeah you all know, I don't need to go on. He screwed over poor old Ralph Bakshi as well. With the aid of high-tech modern wizardry (Google and Photoshop), we can now finally reveal how Georgie directly copied the most iconic images of Wizards. 

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Luke on the back of a tauntaun in Empire Stirkes Back, and the Peace on the back of his way too similar two-legged mount in Wizards. Now come on, there's no denying there's an influence there. 
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Look, when you lay one over the other, the match is uncanny! Loosearse you plagiarising bastard! It doesn't end there you know. Oh no, not by a long shot. Wizards has characters called "stormtroopers" in it. Guess what Star Wars has? Yeah you know it, stormtroopers, who just happen to look a lot like Peace from Wizards. Did little old George Loosearse never have a original idea of his own?

Oh and talking of Peace in Wizards. He started out as an evil "robot" called Necron 99, controlled by the evil ruler Blackwolf. Who is the dark-side one of twins, born to a queen, the other being to good-side called Avatar. Avatar changes Necron 99 it a force for good called Peace. Now, come on, dark-side, light-side, imbued with magical force, evil becoming good and bloody twins!!! Loosearse took the whole of Wizards, chucked in a massive dollop of Just Garland, and a bunch of crappy westerns he'd once seen and stretched it over 6 bloody movies. What a twat! 
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Hull Lad In Space: Astronauts (1981-83)

30/3/2015

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I'd almost forgotten about the ITV comedy series called Astronauts, that featured Hull actor Barrie Rutter. The series was written by comedians and ex-Goodies Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie. The show told the story of the first three British astronauts in space, who had been sent on a six month mission to a "sky lab". They all lived in the cramped two room little space station, with a dog they took up with them called Bimbo. The comedy of the show predominately (as it would) revolved around the claustrophobic conditions under which they lived.
The astronauts' were Commander Malcolm Mattocks (Christopher Godwin), Dr. Gentian Foster (Carmen Du Sautoy) and Technical Officer David Ackroyd (Barrie Rutter), whilst their contact at Mission Control was Colonel Lloyd Beadle (Bruce Boa). The mission may have ran for six months, but the show ran for two seasons, first shown in 1981 and 1983 respectively.
What has been called The Goodies in space, simply didn't work. How it even made it through the six month mission and into a second series is a mystery. The three actors involved are all Shakespearean actors, what possessed them to do this show is another mystery. All of them have somewhat of an exemplary list of acting credentials, apart from this weird little blip, that I'm sure they Tiptex out of their CV's. Bruce Boa, continued to play the token American in British comedies and TV shows, despite being Canadian. The whereabouts of Bimbo are unknown.
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Photos Inspired By Blade Runner

29/3/2015

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I recently entered a competition that asked for real photographs that were evocative of the 1982 sc-fi movie Blade Runner. Having living in South Korea, and travelled throughout Asia, I dug through my photos. The one above is the entry I chose, but found a number of others that had that Blade Runner look. So decided not to waste them, and post them here. Taken in either South Korea, Japan and Hong Kong. 
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Creepy Kids TV: Chocky (1984)

28/3/2015

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Chocky was a creepy 1984 sci-fi series, based on a John Wyndham novelette, first published in the March 1963 issue of Amazing Stories. And later developed into a novel, which was published in 1968. Although before the publication of the novel, there was a 60 minute BBC radio play adaptation of the original story, written by John Tydeman. The story revolved around a young boy called Matthew, who developed a bizarre relationship with what his parents think is an imaginary friend. 
The friend however is an extra terrestrial being, that communicates with and through Matthew to gain an understanding of humanity, as part of a potential colonisation mission that the being is a scout for. Through its connection to Matthew, Chocky imparts extraordinary intelligence and abilities to Matthew. Which come to the notice of shadowy groups that wish to exploit Matthew, and ultimately get access to Chocky.

It is the ITV adaptations that most people remember, which were produced by Thames Television. Chocky ran for three series, each made up of six 30 minute episodes. They were Chocky, Chocky's Children and Chocky's Challenge. They were written by Anthony Read, who was previously a writer and script editor for Dr. Who and co-wrote the fifth season of the dark and creepy sci-fi series Sapphire & Steel.  Apparently Wyndham's estate considered Read's adaptation to be the best.
Apparently the series was very popular in Czechoslovakia, where it was translated and dubbed into both the Czech language and Slovak language. It was also dubbed in French and broadcast in Canada in the late 1980s and early 90s. It was also released in the mid-80s, in the French speaking part of Switzerland, Spain, the Netherlands, Sweden and Finland. Of all places, where it was known as Ystävä avaruudesta. Which means "a friend from space".
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Cult Film Friday: Maximum Overdrive (1986)

27/3/2015

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Stephen King's directorial début, and only movie as director. After seeing Maximum Overdrive, it's best that he has since stuck to writing. Based loosely on his own short story Trucks, after the Earth passes through the tail of a comet, electrical objects come to life and quickly turn killers. It stars Emilio Estevez, who along with King was nominated for a Golden Raspberry, for the movie. Even King himself described this literal car crash of a sci-fi horror as a "moron movie", as he put his director's chair into storage forever. Rumour is that King was coked-up throughout the whole production of this camp classic.

The movie is a "take your brain out" masterpiece of mayhem. No one is spared in what is just an excuse for blowing shit up to an AC/DC soundtrack. And let's be fair, there's nothing wrong with that. King's favourite band, AC/DC's classic album Who Made Who was released to coincide with the movie release. The album featured what are now AC/DC standards, such as the title track Who Made Who and Hells Bells.
The real star of the movie isn't any of the human actors, it's the machines. In particular the funny rather than scary Happy Toyz Co., semi-trailer with the huge Green Goblin face attached to the grill.
 In a movie that contains scene after scene of machines going haywire, and stuff blowing up, you'd expect there to be some accidents. And Maximum Overdrive had its fair share. One involved the director of photography losing an eye, after being sprayed by splinters of wood, after a lawnmower went rogue. He later sued King for damages. The whole movie is littered with goofs and gaffs. In fact IMDb lists 43 goofs on its website.
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The World's First (None) Computer Generated TV Host: Max Headroom

23/3/2015

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The British "virtual" TV host that first appeared in the cyberpunk TV movie on Channel 4,  Max Headroom: 20 Minutes Into The Future. First broadcast in 1985, the character was so successful that he was developed into a VJ, with his own show, The Max Headroom Show, that same year. The show ran for 3 seasons, until 1987. In 1987 a further spin-off sci-fi drama series was made, which ran for 2 seasons.
Max quickly became a cultural icon of the late 80s, with his sardonic wit and stuttering glitch. Portrayed by Canadian American actor Matt Frewer, due to the inability for computer technology to actually create Max as "computer-generated TV host", he had to endure a four and a half hour make-up session. In fact none of Max Headroom was computer generated. Even the background line graphic, that Max was superimposed in front of, was created by a traditional cel animation technique.  
Max became such a massive hit, especially among youth audiences that he began to appear everywhere. He was used to promote New Coke, he appeared on Sesame Street, he appeared at the 1988 Winter Olympics and released a song Paranoimia with the synthpop group The Art Of Noise. In 1986, Quicksilva released a Max Headroom game, which was sold in the UK for the ZX Spectrum and Commodore 64.

Max has been parodied on many occasions. From David Letterman to Back To The Future and an Eminem music video. Infamously in 1987, Max's character was hijacked as part of a TV broadcast signal intrusion prank. When a hacker dressed in a suit and wearing a Max Headroom mask, hijacked the TV signal of a Chicago TV station and its affiliate, in an incident known as the "Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion". Most recently Max was revived as an old man to promote Channel 4's digital switch-over.

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