Rocketship Weird Retro Captain's Blog - Weird Retro

William S. Burroughs & Kurt Cobain

15/12/2014

In 1993 seminal Beat Generation writer and infamous heroin junkie William S. Burroughs recorded a spoken word record with seminal Grunge Rock musician and infamous heroin junkie Kurt Cobain. The record was based on Burroughs short story The "Priest" They Called Him. Burroughs provides a dead-pan delivery, with Cobain provides a dissonant guitar backing based on "Silent Night" and "To Anacreon In Heaven". Originally released as a limited edition 10-inch picture disc in July 1993, the same month that Cobain had a heroin overdose.

The story of The "Priest" They Called Him first appeared in Burroughs 1973 short story collection Exterminator!, and has a similar feel to his other short story The Junky's Christmas from 1989.

The "Priest" is an otherwise nameless heroin addict trying to score a fix on Christmas Eve, rather than Christmas Day in the Junky's story. The young man of the Junky's story is here a Mexican boy, and instead of returning to his room to receive an "immaculate fix" for his charitable act, the "Priest" lies back on his bed and dies.

Interestingly Burroughs had a role in the 1989 movie Drugstore Cowboy, playing Tom the Priest.

Weird Retro Fact: Read about and watch the short film comparable Burroughs story The Junky's Christmas on Weird Retro.

Rocketship Weird Retro's Nativity Scene.

13/12/2014

Click on the Nativity scene, to get a full image view of the whole majesty of this creation! ;)

My little lad and I spent this evening working on our Nativity scene, which is now finally finished. My son made the stable, amazing what a three year old can do with an old shoe box, lolly-sticks, poster paints and glitter. I added the figures. The Bruce Lee shepherds, the three wise gargoyles, Darth Vader and a stormtrooper as Joseph and Mary. A cyberman as the archangel Gabriel, and of course wind-up Jesus as little baby Jesus. Note: The star of Bethlehem is a flaming neon crucifix I've had for years, finally found a use for.

It's a KFC Christmas In Japan.

13/12/2014

In Japan Christmas isn't a nation holiday, but they have adopted the holiday in their own way. Back in December 1974, after a bunch of foreigners hit up a KFC Japan in search of chicken, because they couldn't get their beloved turkey dinner, KFC struck on an idea, KFC started a Christmas Chicken campaign. Thus over time eating Christmas Chicken became a fun little tradition in Japan.

The tradition became so popular that lines of people queued outside KFC restaurants across Japan, to get their fried chicken Christmas dinner. Some even pre-ordering their meal. As with South Korea, Christmas Day in Japan is treated more like a "couples day", akin to Valentine's Day. So what better a treat for your loved one than a bucket of fried chicken?

KFC have developed a special Christmas bucket that is only available in Japan, containing Christmas cake, and other traditionally Western Christmas food. KFC begins its Christmas campaign in October and added a "Party Barrel" and "Premium Christmas Pack" to its existing line-up over the festive season.

Weird Music: Culturcide

12/12/2014

A nihilistic experimental industrial punk band from Huston, Texas, aren't the most likely band to knock out a Christmas song. But the 7" single from 1986, isn't by any stretch of the imagination the usual happy Christmas tunes you will hear being played in the shopping malls. But the sing Depressed Christmas, likely expresses how many feel about the festive season. A sometimes slurring, deeply dead-pan spoken lyric over-dubbed to a cheesy backing-track of White Christmas. Truly music to slash your wrists to. The flip-side of the single is the slightly (only slightly) less depressing and humorous song Santa Claus Was My Lover, dubbed over Billie Jean by Michael Jackson.

The bands famous 1986 album Tacky Souvenirs Of Pre-Revolutionary America, used the same technique of taking popular pop and rock songs and singing, screaming and shouting satirical lyrics over the top of them. The lyric sheet carried the message "Home-taping is killing the record industry, so keep doing it." The band (in true punk style) didn't ask any permissions for use of the backing tracks, and were threatened with legal action by the copyright owners.

Cult Film Friday: Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

12/12/2014

It would seem that 1978 was a black-hole for Christmas specials. A few days ago I posted about the awful A Sesame Street Christmas Special, which was shown on CBS in 1978. Today I present you the now infamous TV movie the Star Wars Holiday Special from that very same year also on CBS. Though not strictly a "Christmas" special, as it was shown once and only once on the 17th of November 1978, it is part of the holiday season, and generally associated with Christmas.

George Lucas famously said that of the special, "If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it." Luckily he didn't, and a dodgy VHS copy of it has been doing the rounds on the Internet for years. For those who have suffered through it, it's a bizarre affair, notable for introducing Boba Fett to the Star Wars universe in an animation sequence. But most well known for introducing Chewbacca's family, and especially his pervy dad Itchy. Who gets off on watching an innuendo filled segment featuring Diahann Carroll.

The plot for what it's worth is that on Chewbacca's planet of Kashyyyk, his family are waiting for him to celebrate Life Day (The Wookie equivalent to Christmas). Han and Chewie, race through the galaxy to get there chased by the Empire. The Imperial forces come to the Wookie family house looking for them, which is when we go to the animation sequence, featuring an odd story-line about a talisman. Essentially while they search the house, both they and we are distracted by a series of weird cut segments, so Lumpy (Chewie's son) can build a device to fool the stormtroopers into leaving. Eventually Han and Chewie turn-up, the remaining stormtroopers are dispatched, so then eveyone can get on with celebrating Life Day.

That's it in a nut-shell, for this painfully kitsch piece of comedy nonsense. There is no wonder Lucas hates it so much. But none-the-less it did survive and has become an irreverent piece of the Star Wars canon. And to be fair it's better than those terrible made-for-TV Ewok movies that came out in the 80s. The Star Wars Holiday Special is a must watch for all die-hard Star Wars fans. Well "must watch" at least once, then put it to bed and try to forget you ever saw it.

Kids TV: A Special Sesame Street Christmas (1978)

9/12/2014

Jackson was only in it for a matter of seconds.

No we're not talking about the awesome Christmas Eve On Sesame Street, which came out the same year and was actually made by The Children's Television Workshop. No what we are talking about here is the lesser known car crash TV produced by CBS. Regarded as one of the worst TV Christmas specials of all time.The kind of TV that you can only half watch through your fingers, cringing at every stilted line delivered and the bemused stars gradual realisation that they are making awful TV.

The show had a star studded cast for the time. A brief appearance by Michael Jackson and Henry Fonda. Leslie Uggams had been Emmy nominated for her role in the TV miniseries Roots in 1977, and so was a big star. There was the Canadian singer / song-writer Anne Murray, and then it starts to get weird... With the 80 year old comic actress Imogene Coca and the utterly insane Ethel Merman.

Calling it a "Sesame Street" special was tenuous at best. Okay so it was filmed on the set, the producers had paid to use it. And that's about the time their budget must have started to run out. There's only three Muppets, Oscar, Big Bird and Barkely (not the one from the TV series, as they used a different costume not supplied by The Children's Television Workshop and a different actor). So really they only had two Muppets and an imposter. It did also feature Mr. Hooper, David, Bob, and Maria from the TV series. But that was it, a bit scant for what was supposed to be a big Sesame Street themed Christmas special.

The loose story was one of Oscar playing a Scrooge type role, the script wasn't written by the Sesame Street team, but by by Bob Banner Associates, mostly known for Perry Como's Christmas specials. I must admit I've never watched the whole thing, it's just too bad, too painful. I much prefer the Christmas On Sesame Street special, which is a wonderful kids classic. But no where near as funny to write a weird Christmas post about.

Weird Music: In Space No One Can Hear You Sing (Space Age Christmas Music)

9/12/2014

A quick dig around the Weird Wide Web and you can come across dozens of weird and wacky Christmas themed albums. It seems every man and his dog have recorded a Christmas album at some point in their music career. Splicing the holiday season with any number of other themes. Yesterday I posted about the infamous Star Wars Christmas Album from 1980, and it got me thinking.

What other weird Christmas themed albums are there out there? The first one that came to mind, which is in my collection was Tim Dinkins Christmas On The Moon, originally released in 1969, at the height of the space race. A bizarre hill-billy / country spaced-out offering.

There appears to be plenty of spaced out tracks, that seamlessly blend Christmas with sci-fi and outer-space. How about the 45 single from 1961, Space Age Santa Claus? Or maybe Zoot Zoot Here Comes Santa In His New Space Suit by Tiny Tim from 1981? Delving even deeper into the genre, there's the short track a weirdly indescribable I Want A OC192 For Christmas/The 12 Days Of Christmas, which will blow your mind in just over a minute and a half. Almost as long as it takes to read and try to understand the title. Note: Listening to the track will only confuse you more.

What are your favourite weird Christmas albums or tracks? Let us know, as we compile the Weird Retro Christmas playlist. Anything goes, the weirder the better. Post a comment and spread the Christmas cheer!

Weird Music: Star Wars Christmas Album

8/12/2014

Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album is from 1980, an unofficial release, unlike the Star Wars Christmas TV Special which George Lucas still distances himself from. The album was produced by Meco Monardo who had previously recorded the successful instrumental album Star Wars And Other Galactic Funk in 1977.

Containing such classic songs with titles like "What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)" and "R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas" how could it fail? In fact due to its success, Meco was asked to add Lucas's name to it.

Unfortunately the record company RSO Records went out of business before a second pressing was done of the album, which would have had "Concept by George Lucas" on the sleeve.

Much of the album is sung and narrated by the British actor Anthony Daniels, who is known for playing C-3PO in the Star Wars movies. The album also features the first professional recording of Jon Bon Jovi (as John Bongiovi, his birth name), who sang lead vocals on the song "R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas". His cousin Tony Bongiovi co-produced the album and ran the recording studio at which it was recorded, where Jon was working sweeping floors at the time.

Catalonia's Christmas Crapper

7/12/2014

"El Caganer" translates as "The Crapper" or "The Shitter", which is a little figure that appears in Nativity scenes in Catalan and the surrounding regions of southern France and Spain. No-one is sure of the origins of the little pooping man, other than it appeared in nativity scenes around the 17th and 18th century.

Even theories on what he represents vary, from just that he's there as humorous figure of fun for children, to that the he's a good luck figure who represents the 'every man', as we all poo. Whatever the reason, in modern times the traditional caganer (pictured left) is often replaced with famous figures from contemporary history. From celebrities to politicians, no one is exempt from being made into a caganer at Christmas.

The Tió de Nadal, which translates as "Christmas log", but popularly referred to as Caga tió or "Shitting log", is a character in Catalan mythology. Originally just a simple hollowed out log, the addition of legs and smiling face are more recent. According to tradition however, starting on the 8th of December which is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, you are supposed to give the Tió a little bit to eat every night and then cover him with a little blanket so that he will not be cold at night.

On Christmas Day or Christmas Eve (depending on the traditions of the family), the Tió is brought out and ordered to poo. To make it poo, the children beat the Tió with sticks, while singing various songs of related to the Tió de Nadal. The Tió "poos" small gifts for the children, which were secretly hidden under the blanket by the adults earlier.

Cult Film Friday: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)

5/12/2014

Probably the absolute classic of weird Christmas based cinema. If not one of the absolute classics of weird cinema anyway. Often listed as one of the worst movies of all time, for me Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a must see midnight movie for Christmas Eve. It's become a tradition in my house, whether anyone likes it or not.

Made famous to the masses as an MST3K movie, the movie is a work of unabashed surreal genius by director Nicholas Webster. That has become a major cult Christmas classic, spawning a comic book by Dell Comics, a novel and theatre productions based on it. The movie fell into public domain, and so has become a movie that has been shown time and time again on cable horror host shows, and online, as well as being shown on cult cinema nights across the planet as their cult Christmas movie of choice.

Making Santa Claus Conquers The Martians one of the greatest Christmas movies ever, in my opinion.

What's it about? Who cares! Martians (who are robotic and unfeeling in their treatment of their children) kidnapped Santa from the North Pole, transporting him to Mars to dole out presents to the emotionally retarded Martian kids. You know, it doesn't really matter, the movie is a brilliant gaudy coloured piece of irreverent fantasy. If it makes no sense, that's okay. If the sets and acting are equally as wooden and one-dimensional as each other, good! For me personally, this is one of the best Christmas movies of all time.

Weird Retro Fact: You can read the whole of the comic book version of Santa Claus Conquers The Martians on our Weird Retro facebook archives.