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Retro Gaming: Softporn (1981)

18/4/2015

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In 1981 On-Line Systems released the very first commercially available pornographic computer game, Softporn. A fantasy text adventure game for adults, where the player had to seduce three women, while avoiding hazards, like being killed by a nightclub bouncer. With text commands as odd and creepy as BUY WHISKEY, WEAR CONDOM and SCREW HOOKER, the game was about as erotic as being slapped in the face with a wet fish.
Unlike most early text based adventures, or interactive fiction of the the time, you didn't delve into caves or fight trolls. You hung-out in either a casino, a bar or a disco, on your quest to score with the ladies. Originally developed by a lonely computer geek, as a way of teaching himself Basic programming, the writer was encouraged by his friends to release the game commercially. Initially failing to gain any interest, the game was picked up by Ken Williams, 26-year-old president and co-founder of On-Line Systems, a software company he and his wife Roberta had launched with the 1980 release of their graphical adventure game Mystery House. Which Roberta had designed and Ken programmed.
They went full steam ahead marketing the game, with the now infamous hot tub advertising photo, which was taken in the Williamses' own backyard. The photo even featured employees of On-Line Systems, with Roberta herself appearing in it, on the far right. The hot tub ad first ran in the September 1981 issue of Softalk, an Apple II enthusiast magazine, and instantly became controversial, among early computer hobbyists and readers of the magazine.
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Softporn was pulled within months from On-Line’s advertised catalog, but the circulation of the game was sustained through pirated versions for years between friends and computer communities. Within a year, On-Line Systems would re-brand itself as Sierra On-Line, now better remembered for games like King’s Quest, Phantasmagoria, and Space Quest. Sierra On-Line never sold another text based adventure game. Softporn itself however would find new life in the graphical adventure world of Sierra’s Leisure Suit Larry series, first released in 1987. The game’s designer, Al Lowe, added character and colour, and additional descriptions, but Leisure Suit Larry is, almost puzzle for puzzle, a direct copy of Softporn.
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Cult Film Friday: The Brother From Another Planet (1984)

17/4/2015

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Blaxploitation sci-fi! Now that's a genre you don't hear of often. Starring Joe Morton, better known for his role as Miles Dyson in 1991's Terminator 2: Judgement Day. He plays "the brother", who's an escaped alien slave hiding out in Harlem, after his ship crash lands. Directed by independent cult film director John Sayles, he made the movie as an obvious and at times overworked metaphor for the difficulties of being an immigrant in America.

Unable to speak "the brother" makes his way through New York and the movie in a series of situational vignettes, that often have a comedic nod towards the silent film era. It's clever and inventive, at times unstructured and confusing. Which adds to the feeling of alienation, and being a stranger in a strange land that Sayles is attempting to convey. The gentle comedy that Morton's character brings to the screen is juxtaposed against scenes of racial tension, drug abuse, poverty and urban decay. His outstanding performance as the innocent and charming alien carries the film. He's Chaplin's little tramp, who you root for and warm to.
Beautifully handled by Sayles, The Brother From Another Planet is a quirky and charming movie that stays with you long after you've seen it. Often underrated and overlooked, it's low-budget independent film-making at its leftfield best. And one of my personal introductions to independent cinema as a teenager. Over 30 years on from first seeing it, it still sits as one of my favourite (now) cult films of all time. I highly recommend that people seek it out and give it a watch.
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Mid-Week Movie Massacre: Top 70s Movie Massacres Not From Texas With Chainsaws.

15/4/2015

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Stick "massacre" in the title of a horror / slasher film and your in for a winner! Or not, as the case maybe. In 1974 Tobe Hooper brought us the most well known slasher film that used "massacre" in the title to attract audiences. But throughout the 70s, there were a good number of bottom rung b-movies that also used massacre as marketing. Here's three of the best, worst or simply weirdest of the bad b-movie bunch.

Demented Death Farm Massacre (1971): AKA... Shantytown Honeymoon

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What started out as the obscure b-movie Shantytown Honeymoon was taken by producer/director Fred Olen Ray, and spliced with new footage of famed b-movie actor John Carradine as the Judge of Hell, who narrates the story. A group of jewel thieves on the run, wander into a backwoods farm, hoping to hide out for the time being. However, when the farmer returns home only to find the thieves taking over the house, he hatches a deadly plan.The film was re-released with the 5 minutes of Carradine footage, destined still to be an obscure b-movie. Released under the various titles of Honey Britches, Moonshiner's Woman, Hillbilly Hooker, Little Whorehouse on the Prairie, and finally Demented Death Farm Massarce. It still made no impact, until 1986 when Olen Ray sold the film to Troma Entertainment, and they released it on VHS as part of their back catalog of schlock horror movies.
Naked Massacre (1976): Original title, Die Hinrichtung (AKA Born For Hell)
A German / Canadian / French / Italian co-production, directed by Denis Héroux. Loosely based on the notorious Richard Speck murders, which is transferred inexplicable from America to Northern Ireland, during the Troubles. This is the grim tale of a disturbed Vietnam vet returning home via Belfast, who invades a house shared by eight nurses and proceeds to terrorize and murder them. This is the closest telling of the Speck story. Others that were likely inspired by it I have mentioned before are the controversial Japanese flick Violated Angels, and possibly to some extent the infamous Canadian cult slasher Black Christmas. The film, which has the potential to be a cult classic, is somewhat ruined by the bad dubbing. For some reason all the actors have been dubbed over with painful foreign accented voice actors. Rather than having Irish, British or American accents. Or it did on the version I watched.
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Drive-In Massacre (1977): ... Your Nightmares Are About To Come True!!
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In essence a cheap hack-and-slash reworking of Peter Bogdanovich's 1968 cult classic Targets. Two police detectives try to catch a serial killer who is stalking a rural California drive-in theater, randomly killing people with a sword. Co-written by George "Buck" Flower, who has appeared in films as diverse as Back To the Future II, Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS and many of John Carpenter's productions. The movie has all the right elements for a cult slasher b-movie, and even harks back to schlock horror marketing tactics of the like of William Castle. With it's viewer discretion WARNING!!!, and claim to have been "filmed entirely in bloodcurdling Gore-Color." It's a movie that was designed to be seen in a drive-in cinema, and loses something on the small screen. With it's tired old "he's coming for you" twist ending, designed to put the willies up drive-in audiences.
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Anti-Racism: There Are No Master Races!

14/4/2015

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In the 1940s the True Comics series of comic books presented educational information for kids in a pictorial format. As a backlash against racism, and in particular the racial superiority propaganda of the Nazis in WWII, humanist and publisher George J. Hecht produced a piece called There Are No Master Races! in issue #39 of the series, published in Sept-Oct 1944. Using references from the Bible, alongside both historical and scientific understanding he presented a strong anti-racist piece of propaganda to counter the Nazi claims. The latter panels directly mentioning the Japanese, Italians and Germans.
In particular reference to the idiocy of the Nazi claims of there being a superior Aryan race, the piece ridicules Hitler and his cronies, for not even being physically like the Aryan ideal that they promoted. The story was reprinted and distributed as a propaganda pamphlet. Even though there was still endemic racism and segregation in the United States at the time, Hecht was someone who used his position to spread an anti-racism message in order to try and educate young readers of True Comics.
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Medical Madness: Rectal Dilators

13/4/2015

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A quack doctor medical device that appeared in the late 1800s, these painful looking instruments made all kinds of claims for their curative properties. Apparently sticking a large rubber dildo up your rear-end could cure anything from constipation, piles, and prostate prostate trouble, to nervousness, improve acne and aid restful sleep. Seriously! You'd think the last thing you'd have is a restful sleep after someone had shoved one of those bad boys up your bum. 

These things were marketed right into the late 1930s. Then in 1938, a new Federal Law in the United States covered such quack devices, and they became outlawed. 
In 1940, a shipment of rectal dilators, was seized at New York and the US Attorney filed libel cases against the company, alleging that they were misbranded. The misbranding allegations related to the claims that the dilators would "permanently" cure constipation and piles, that they had many other benefits including promoting refreshing sleep and improving acne, etc... Also that the instructions advised "you need have no fear of using them too much." The dilators disappeared as medical devices, only to reappear it would seem in adult shops as... Well you know what!
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Vintage ads for rectal dilators. At least the "Recto Rotor" a particularly painful looking instrument of torture, has lube vents.
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The painful sounding "Recto Rotor" claimed it's, "the only device that reaches the Vital Spot effectively." (What's the "Vital Spot"?) And that, "This picture tells its own story." Yes, yes it does. 
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Touched By The Hand Of God!

12/4/2015

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There are dozens of inadvertently funny vintage Christian album covers to be discovered on the Weird Wide Web. Often featuring innocently chosen titles, that out of context come across as creepy. Here's just a few, that relate to either being "touched" or "used" by Jesus, or waiting for him to "come".
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Cult Creature Feature: Tentacles (1977)

11/4/2015

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"Tentacles. It slept until man disturbed it. Then it woke, with a fury no man could control. Rising from the ocean floor, to bring destruction and death." Tentacles, or Tentacoli was an American/Italian co-production. A horror movie attempting shamelessly to cash-in on the success of Jaws.

Ocean Beach, a seaside tourist resort, has come under attack by an unknown creature, which captures and devours human swimmers and boaters, picking the skeletons clean of flesh and even extracting the bone marrow. The scientists have no idea which animal could do such things. However an investigative newspaper journalist (played by John Huston) begins to suspect that the company which builds a tunnel beneath the bay might have poisoned the environment and caused an octopus to mutate to giant dimensions. 

As well as the late great John Huston in the lead role, the movie had an all-star supporting cast, which included Shelley Winters, Bo Hopkins and Henry Fonda.
With terrible tag-lines like "It's Turning the Beach ... Into a Buffet!" The horror of Tentacles is how it got made, and how the hell they got the stellar cast to star in it. A hysterically bad creature feature, with all the cheesy acting and special effects you have expected from a 50s b-movie, except inexplicably made in the late 70s. An utter car crash of a movie that you'll either laugh yourself silly watching, or sit in abject boredom, wondering whether to have seafood for dinner tomorrow. 
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Retro Gaming: Video Gaming In The 70s

11/4/2015

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Back in the primitive days of video gaming, the best most homes could hope for was a TV console with a series of generic Pong style paddle and ball based games. The Magnavox Odyssey was the world's first commercial home video game console. It was first demonstrated in April 1972. 
Predating the Atari Pong console by three years. The Odyssey was also designed to support an add-on peripheral, the first-ever commercial video "light gun" called the Shooting Gallery. Magnavox settled a court case against Atari, Inc. for patent infringement in Atari's design of Pong, as it resembled the tennis game for the Odyssey. Ralph Baer, who invented the Odyssey went on to  invent the classic electronic game Simon for Milton Bradley in 1978.

Below is an article from 1978/79, featuring a brief history of early video gaming. From the Magnavox Odyssey through to early cartridge based consoles, and some of the first home computers. 

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Cult Film Friday: Paris, Texas (1984)

10/4/2015

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Paris, Texas is a beautifully slow paced and delicately handled masterpiece from German film-maker Wim Wenders. Starring Harry Dean Stanton, Dean Stockwell, and Nastassja Kinski, it's the story about love, loss, redemption and a journey of self discovery. As amnesiac Stanton wanders out of the desert after being missing for 4 years, to rebuild his life, and reconnect with his past.

Many people eulogise about about Paris, Texas. There is review after review out there describing it as one of the greatest films ever. I wouldn't put it up there as one of my personal top films ever, but I do appreciate its beauty as a cinematic work of art. The cinematography by Robby Müller, is stunning. Using the desolation of the countryside, small towns and the endless roads, as an externalised metaphor for Stanton's character. Causing the scenery to become as much as a character in the movie as the actors wandering through it. The opening scene is one of my personal favourite openings to any movie.
Along with Ry Cooder's haunting slide guitar soundtrack, the film evokes the sense of smallness of one man in the vastness of the world he is alienated from. The film is a long, drawn out and at times painfully plodding watch. Very much stylistically with its feet firmly planted in the traditions of European cinema.
However, Paris, Texas is an American movie. and in many ways, mainly due to the cinematography, is a quintessential slice of Americana apple pie. Ordered from a diner on a desolate dusty road somewhere between Houston and L.A. Not to everyone's tastes, Paris, Texas is undoubtedly a classic that Wenders is likely most widely known for. Though of his English language movies of that period, I prefer Until The End Of The World (1991). But I'll save that for another post.
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Right-On Race Relations Board Games That Got iT Horribly Wrong.

9/4/2015

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Tackling race relations issues through the medium of board games, on the one hand seems a perfectly reasonable if a bit touchy-feely liberal way of educating people about social issues. However on the other hand, it's a potential recipe for cringe inducing disaster. Involving embarrassingly naive stereotypes, there games that have been produced with all the right intentions, but have ended up being nothing short of shocking examples of how something as simplistic as a board game cannot in anyway express the deeply complex issues of race relations, or being part of a ethnic minority group within society. 
Life As A Blackman: The Game (1999): Apparently game designer Chuck Sawyer wanted to express through this game his own personal experiences as someone from a minority group, trying to make their way through corporate America. So what do we have? An insight into what it's like to young and black in America? Not quite, it's more a game littered with black conservative Christian stereotypes of African-American culture. Like a Crosby Show reworking of Boyz N The Hood of board games. In the game players must make choices between good and evil, or between the church and a life of crime. 
And that's only the start of how "black and white" the attitude of this game is. Players all start as 18 year old black males either in Glamourwood, Black University, the Military, or in the Ghetto. Church provides strength and guidance. Crime has consequences, and while lucrative, it also leads to frequent encounters with police and ultimately, prison. The first person to reach the Freedom space at the top of the board wins. The game attempts to deliver its political message through satire, that falls flat, and just ends up as a litany of racial and social stereotypes. Who the game was supposed to be aimed at is an utter mystery.
Black & Whites (1970): You'd think a game first published in the respected journal Psychology Today in March 1970, would have delivered a carefully considered game with a social conscience. What they actually delivered wasn't a game that helped to create awareness of the divide between blacks and whites, but inadvertently between the haves and have nots, irrespective of race. As blacks are portrayed as stereotypically poor and whites as wealthy, with stock dividends and wads of cash.
Even for the 70s, this game was woefully naive.
The game essentially blamed racial inequality on housing issues and made it impossible to win the game if you chose to play as a black player. Needless to say, it turned out to be one of the most controversial board games of all time and even merited an article in Time magazine: "The game, produced by Psychology Today Games (an off shoot of the magazine) now on sale ($5.95) at major department stores, was developed at the University of California at Davis by Psychology Department Chairman Robert Sommer. It was conceived as a painless way for middle-class whites to experience — and understand — the frustrations of blacks. In Sommer’s version, however, the black player could not win; as a simulation of frustration, the game was too successful. Then David Popoff, a Psychology Today editor, redesigned the game, taking suggestions from militant black members of 'US' in San Diego. The new rules give black players an opportunity to use — and even to beat — the System."
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